Gray Dawn (i'm trying to make sense of madness here) analysis and thoughts.

 So when i finished this game I was left with a major WTF moment, as in i had no idea what was going on at all, and couldn't understand the ending. I went on a hunt for a video or a article that could help me, both to understand, and to perhaps write this. 

I found nothing - not surprising really. The closest I found was this video by GreyBeard who is trying to analyse it and give a reveiw. I don't exactly agree with him about everything, but some stuff I definitly agree with.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR CHILDABUSE & DEATH

DISCLAIMER: I want everyone to be aware that I am not arguing that Abrahams love for David is cool, and he just needs to redeem himself. I truly hope you don't read it that way. Because that is absolutely not what I am trying to get across. I argue that we are in Abrahams head, and ergo I analyse his reasoning. His reasoning and my personal beliefs and values are not compatible to any extend, and I am just presenting a theory. 

First I think we should break down the story, what the game presents to us as a fact. 

We know it's christmas time because of the music and several christmas trees. We play as father Abraham, and he is all alone in the house. 

Abraham used to have a girlfriend named Alexandra who desperately wanted a child, and they broke it off because Abraham became a priest.

We also know there is a child named David, who is missing. 

Yeah i think that is about it for what I am willing to call facts at least. So let's move into the character of Alexandra first, because we learn about her from vox recordings, and some visions. Apparently she was very much in love with Abraham, and she wanted a child desperately but was barren. we learn it took her a while to accept that. Alexandra comitted suicide, but the reasons to why is muddy at best. Because in the vision we see her fight with Abraham, and her refusing to understand that he won't be with her anymore. and then she runs to a tomb and jumps to her death, saying something like 'we lost it all'. I remember when playing I thought she might have been pregnant, but according to the info I learned later on, that is not the case. And at the end of the game, Abraham tells us she killed herself because he keeps Davids corpse on ice. Which to me makes no sense, none of the versions really - I think the demon rabbit might have a point when he said that Abraham wasn't all that into women, but that is hardly something to kill yourself over. And I have to admit that I don't really understand her story.

Then there is the character of David. We are sometimes told he is an altarboy, and the demon voices for instance tells us that Abraham is suspected of killing 7 children, at no point do these voices that are there to torment Abraham, point out that David is his son, the demons call him David, or Altarboy. But at a later point in the game, this get's super confusing because we learn that David went to an orphanage with his brother Alexander (or that is what we are told by David), we find letters from David to his mother, telling her he loves it at the orphanage, and that he learned how to ressurect dead flowers (there is a super heavy alchemy theme in this game). And at the orphanage we find a note telling us that two people came by and adopted David, Alexander died from Cholera.  And later again, when Abraham conducts Davids funeral, the biological mother of David says that she gave up her son (not a word about Alexander), but she wants to kill those people who adopted David and mistreated him, called Abraham and Alexandra.

We know that Abraham conducted a exorsism on David (or several), and when we play as David at the end of the game, he wants to run away. We hear a woman on the other side of the door, and we can only assume it's Alexandra since no other women are present in the game. David escapes and Abraham accidently hits him with his car, killing him.  Why was David so desperate to flee?

And then we have Abraham, besides his existential crisis we don't know a whole lot. We learn from the Library that he has an interest in pegan rituals, and that he keeps a siamese twin child skeleton in a montre, and also a ritual dagger. In regards to these items he tells us that he keeps the skeleton as the only memento from his old life, it represents the good and the evil in him (what utter bullshit really), and he also tells us a story about how he once sacrificed a lamb with the dagger. So we can deduct he was into perhaps Satan worship? I mean it could sound like it, though I think it would be a little on the nose - but then again a lot of this game is. So let's just run with Satanism. At the end of the game he enters what he thinks is the church storage, but finds himself in a brothel, this plays well with the vox recordning we heard about the 'orgies' and 'rituals' that Alexandra in hell threathens to reveal if he doesn't give her a child. So Abraham was a bad, bad boy before becomming a priest. 

The demons in the radios that taunt him, they talk about 7 dead children, and Abraham is adamant that he didn't kill them. He finds they died of cholera, but needs an exorsism? Okay i'll come back to that. 

I can't figure out what his relation to David is, because at one point he says 'if you don't come back, the village will lynch me', clearly pretty pragmatic about it. We clearly get the picture that David was special, but not so special that Abraham knew he had a brother, and upon asking about that, David answers him that 'he never listens'. At no point did he call David 'son' or any other endearment, which I find super weird. 

And lastly on the subject of Abraham, then I must wonder why he doesn't wonder about the world, is that normal? demon posessed radios, plagues in your dining room and so forth. but again, coming back to that.

-*-

Now I know this is not a game where I should look for logical solutions. And I can't make up my mind if Abraham is in purgatory, or if he is just batshit crazy - I do lean towards the last explanation tbh. And this is why.

Let's start with the 7 children stuff - We learn from the radio that he is suspected for the murder of 7 children, and then Abraham discovers, very conveniently that there was a cholera epidemic - so they died of cholera of course! Which makes no flaming sense, but hey. These 7 children are buried the same place where Alexandra killed herself, expect Abraham gets into a diving suit to visit the catacombs where he buried those children. Because even if they according to Abraham died of cholera, then they are demons? and need an exorsism. Ehm, okay. And at the orphanage, we see there are 7 children - and 7 dolls. None of these are called Alexander btw.

If you noticed, then the quest we get upon getting to the orphanage is 'go get Alexander  my brother, he isn't feeling well'. And when we find a child on a bed that we of course assume is Alexander, we are presented with a syringe. Abraham choses to inject himself, and not the child, for reasons unknown. And then David gives us a some 'it was just a prank bro' remark, and the boy is now a doll. The dolls have no names, they are just doll 1 to 7 (if you got all 7 icons), but the only boys we find in the catacombs are called Felix, Peter and Elijah. It could of course be some other 7 children at the orphanage, but I hardly think so. I think its connected, so if you find 7 icons, you must find 7 dolls, these 7 dolls represent 7 childrens names, the names of those you must help. and the names are given to us when we hand over the dolls. come on. it's the same 7 damn kids. 

Does this orphanage exist? I don't think so. I think it's Abrahams fantasy of giving Alexandra a child. Does Alexander exist? No I don't think so either, I think that Alexander is Alexandra, I think she actually might have died from cholera and Abraham can't cope. And the 7 children? well... I don't know man, I have a couple of theories to that, but can't find anything in my playthrough or what I was able to find on the net. But to get to that, I think we need to agree to nothing presented here is true, the game is one long acid trip, and you can't be sure of anything. And I think that Abraham makes shit up as well. 

So did he hit David with a car? I don't know, but I don't think so. I don't think he killed David, I think he loved David. I think that might have been why Alexandra jumped off a cliff. See if we use the facts that Abraham was a depraved Satan worshipping man before he discovered God, then it wouldn't be a super far reach. Also it would explain these 7 children that weighs on his mind as well, dead or not. Maybe he is exorcising them from himself? his guilt? I don't know. But I also don't think that Abraham actually has David on ice, I think he preserved him in his heart.

This leads me to the house itself, see I think the house represents Abraham. And that everything we see, hear and experience is his subconcience. He wants to be pure, he just isn't. He wants a family (the large dinner) but he doesn't have one. And David is locked away from everything. To drive my point home besides it raining with frogs and all that, then there is that doll, the representation of David, but it is evil, it wants Abrahams soul. Could that be how he felt in regards to David? And I realise that child molesting priests is a fucking cliché, but I actually just still think that is what it's about. 

I think what is closest to the truth is probably the while ritual we have to preform when David is buried. I don't think the mother cursed the adoptive parents, but I do think the burial happened, and I also think that Abraham had to preform it. And that leads me back to Davids death, in the game we are shown David escaping and Abraham accidently hitting him with his car. I don't think that happened, I think that Abraham accidently killed David, yes. But not with his car. And I also think David might have tried to escape, sure. But why would David say "it's our secret" with his dying breath if it was a car accident? yeah - he wouldn't. And honestly I don't think it was David that even said that.

So what I think (call it far fetched if you will) is that David was an altarboy, and had nothing to do with the 7 other children. And I think that Abraham convinced himself and Davids parents that David was possessed so he had to stay with Abraham and be rid of his demons. 

I also think that the heart shaped musicbox is important, but I can't really figure it out - it might just be a gift or a remnant of something, cause after all in the real world here - we know that Gray Dawn failed it's goal when they tried to get it financed through kickstarter, and was helped out by another company. but it is not the game they set out to make, and maybe this musicbox would have been clearer in it's symbolism if they didn't have to cut corners. For now i'll have to go with a mechanical heart that can change "dimensions" and allow you access some places, and close others, depending on how you use it.

Maybe we should look a little on the symbolism, cause this game is loaded. There is a lot of Catholicism and Eastern Orthodox belifs. But there is also Buddhism, Anchient Egyptian gods, Pagan stuff, and loads loads of Alchemy/mystisism. 

I happen to have a book on eastern european folklore (cause I am a geek like that), and what I noticed first was the butterflies, I remembered that cause it's a part of Romanian old tales of how the world started. Alright so if I am not off, it's something with the ocean suddenly making waves and out of those waves comes a tree, and in that tree is a butterfly and a worm. The butterfly sheds it's wings and becomes a beautiful young man called Brother (i remember this cause it's stupid close to some norse mythology stories). Bother was light and love, lighting up the world around him. The worm also wanted to be a boy I suppose, and so transformed into a boy called NotBrother (yep) and he was pure darkness. Anyways I don't think the butterflies are there to be pretty, I think they represent light, beauty and love. And maybe even what is good inside Abraham?

Then there is the owls, I had to look that one up, same with the deer - and yep I had gotten that one right too. What I can see is that the owls, snow owls to be precise, and all the owls are white, so I say they are snow owls, they are according to my book, the lost souls of repennant sinners who are trying to sneak into heaven. Well good on you Abraham, you are sorry, we get it. 

And the deer well that is a little more out there, but from what I could find (and this time on the internet, not my book, cause it had nothing on it), the white deer represent an omen (like white ravens) world wide, and in many religions, native as well as established current ones. But in eastern europe for some reason, they have a story about how Saint Eustace, saw Jesus between the antlers of one (remember there is a place in the game where we find a key between antlers? to that hard to find icon) and Jesus had apparently told him he would suffer. So he converted to Christianty...  righto..  So apart from the interesting part that most the world sees Eustace as a fictional saint, and a fraud - which I don't know if carries any meaning here. Then the deer, you know an omen is always a sign of change be it good or bad. How they fit in here, I don't really know. 

Maybe it is really the fake saint that is more interesting. I don't know, but at least I had my questions answered in some aspects. And the number 7, well in christianity God created the world in 7 days? But I think that would be too corny and obvious in regards to the hidden layers I personally think is in this game. so I think the answer is in Alchemy, cause it's a pet hobby of mine to read books on the subject cause speak about absolutely batshit. So there are 7 main ingredients in achemy according to some. But I lean towards this

And honestly I don't understand a single fucking word of it, but I know it has something to do with because of God then the seven will always be polluted, and when they allign it is something with mans transendence. Or something, if you want to read about it, look here at this site where I found this photo, and also used for other stuff in regards to alchemy. But this site does actually bring up another thing that I wanted to point out, cause there are also 7 chakras in your body. Seven is everywhere. 

I can't say what 7 children means in this game, but my best bet is actually that above, that Abraham wishes to transend, and to do that he must create peace within the 7, remove the godly pollution so they are one. I wonder if one is him or David tho. 

-*-

So what is this game about, what is my conclusion. 

I think Abraham is mad, I think he is experiencing all this in his head. I think he needs the battle of good and evil to explain himself. Like other deities were guiding his actions. 

I can't say if he was actually a Satanist, but I do think that he was a motherfucker before he hid in the clergy (like too many others), I think Alexandra got fed up with his sanctemonious shit and left, and then died of cholera. And I think he was in love with David and couldn't make sense of himself. 

I think this game is about Abraham trying to justify himself and his newfound holines. I don't think he wants to confront it, cause if that was his wish, we would have gone straight for the throat. I mean basically if you get the bad ending, it's called that Abraham loses his faith in God. So maybe that is just it, he needs faith to hide his shame and guilt. He needed to recreate himself. 

I think the voice of David is Abrahams voice inside his head, and that is why he doesn't react to it changing from a child to an adult and back again. 

What puzzles me most is at the end, the godlike dude says that he will restore Abraham from before his fall. What? how is that before his fall? If we go by the theory that the house is Abraham, and that the thought of David is locked away and preserved, cause Abraham wasn't ready to let him go. Then the ending might mean that he does let it go? I'll be fucked if I know, cause it all drowns in misquotes of the petite prince, which in my oppinion has nothing to do here, and is shoehorned in there, so they could drop hints calling Alexander for the little prince, cause it sounded cool and profound. IT'S NOT! STOP!